All-Purpose Constructor of Arbitrary-Length Speeches
Make sentences by taking one arbitrary fragment from each of the columns 1, 2, 3 and 4, in that order, producing a valid all-purpose text. The number of combinations is approximately 10,000. This is sufficient for a 40-minute speech that is meaningless, but fluid and grammatical.
I
Gentlemen! (Comrades! Dudes!)
On the other hand...
By the same token...
It should, however, be kept in mind that...
As it stands, considering what has been said...
Day-to-day observation in a contemporary setting shows that...
The rich and multifarious experience gained of late...
The significance of these problems is obvious to the point that...
The goal of the organization, in particular...
Ideological and humanitarian considerations of the highest order, as well as...
II
...realization of the outlined assignments...
...the scope, goals and venue of personnel training...
...the steady quantifiable growth and sphere of our activity...
...the long-standing organizational structure...
...the new model of organizational activity...
...a further development of diverse manifestations of activity...
...strengthening and development of the departmental structure and management organization...
...constant informational and promotional support of our activity...
...consultations with an extensive selection of specialists...
...the nascent day-to-day efforts to formulate a stance...
III
...plays an important part in forming...
...require that we conduct a thorough and objective analysis of...
...require defining and refining...
...is conducive to preparation and realization of...
...ensures that a wide range of specialists can participate in outlining...
...helps achieve important goals in the development of...
...to a large extent underpins the forming of...
...represents an interesting experiment that verifies...
...entails a procedure of introduction and modernization of...
IV
...the financial and administrative situation at hand.
...further directions for development and funding.
...a system of mass participation in the abovementioned initiatives.
...the positions taken by the participants regarding the goals set.
...new progressive improvement-focused proposals.
...directions for progressive development and departmental prospects.
...appropriate conditions for boosting progressive processes.
...a system of personnel training that meets the present needs of the organization.
...a progressive development model.
...forms of active involvement.
Using a random number generator or otherwise, you can string together four-digit numbers; for best results, put 1 as the first digit. For example: 1478459067430327, etc. Next, take fragments from the table by number, going in a cycle from column 1 to column 4.
The result:
Gentlemen! The long-standing organizational structure to a large extent underpins the forming of appropriate conditions for boosting progressive processes. It should, however, be kept in mind that the new model of organizational activity represents an interesting experiment that verifies a progressive development model. Day-to-day observation in a contemporary setting shows that constant informational and promotional support of our activity is conducive to preparation and realization of a system of mass participation in the abovementioned initiatives. Ideological and humanitarian considerations of the highest order, as well as the steady quantifiable growth and sphere of our activity require that we conduct a thorough and objective analysis of a system of personnel training that meets the present needs of the organization...
And so on, and so forth. The output is very glib, confusing, wordy and topical. Your audience will be in awe of your intelligence and shocked by their own ineptitude! Best of luck! For certain kinds of audience, the resulting text can benefit from the occasional insertion such as "sorta like", "know what I'm sayin", "yo", "niggaz" or elements of meme speak: "ai can haz cheezburgr", "ORLY", "FUUUUUUuuuuuuu", "pwnd", etc.
27-04-2012 21:51
